Top 3 Mental Health Tips for Hair Loss from a Bald Therapist
One of the most polarizing moments in pop culture history has become the Will Smith slap situation. This occurred after Chris Rock made a joke referring to Jada Smith’s hair loss, who has Alopecia. While I do not condone violence and do not believe that was an appropriate response, as a therapist who has had Alopecia Areata since age 3 and has been completely bald since age 6, I had a much more nuanced understanding of where that reaction came from. The one thing that has been most disappointing since then is how the violence overtook the moment to spread awareness about the mental health impacts of hair loss. Often hair loss is downplayed as “It is just hair get over it”. However, it is not “just hair” because if that were the case then there would not be so much stigma, shame and embarrassment placed on hair loss by society. We can not simultaneously tell people to “get over it” while at the same time constantly being bombarded with societal messages that you need thick, incredible hair to be worthy or beautiful. Not to mention the likelihood of someone experiencing hair loss during their lifetime is pretty high! Androgenetic Alopecia alone impacts up to 50% of men and women. Research has shown that hair loss is associated with a host of psychological impacts such as anxiety, anger, depression and decreased confidence to name a few. So why not begin normalizing hair loss and how to seek help managing the mental health impacts?
My experience with Alopecia growing up was one of the driving influences for me to become a therapist. I noticed a lack of understanding about the psychological impact of hair loss from professionals and wanted to help fill this gap. One of my main goals is to create a wide range of hair loss specific resources for mental health so that everyone can find something that meets their needs.
Through my work as a therapist combined with my experience of having the most advanced form of hair loss, Alopecia Universalis, these are my top three tips for anyone experiencing hair loss:
1. Allow time for grieving
First thing first, and that is that hair loss is quite literally a loss and should be treated as such. Those experiencing hair loss should give themselves time to grieve without judgment. The world already puts enough judgment on hair loss, which is why the practice of allowing yourself to grieve hair loss without placing additional judgment on yourself is crucial. Especially for more advanced types of hair loss, a person will likely have to grieve the loss of the person they are used to seeing in the mirror. This experience can bring on a host of mental health impacts related to body image, anxiety and depression. Having a safe space to allow yourself to go through the grieving process whether it is with a professional, family members, friends, a support group or even in a journal is an important step in the healing journey.
2. Explore what your version of acceptance is
After you have given yourself time to grieve, allow yourself time to explore what your version of acceptance looks like (I will link my other blog focused on acceptance here). When it comes to hair loss or any type of physical difference, there is not one way that acceptance looks. In a world of flawed beauty standards, it would be unreasonable to tell anyone with a physical difference that acceptance only has one path. Teasing through societal messages about beauty and your own values can be a tricky process. For some, existing bald is how they feel most authentic. For others, wearing wigs or leaning into some of the treatment options is their path toward feeling most authentic to themselves. However, to figure out what version of acceptance is most value-aligned to someone, a person usually needs to do so in a wise mind state. Wise mind is a term from dialectical behavior therapy that refers to the balance between the rational and emotional mind. For example, someone who is wearing wigs due to constant high anxiety and thoughts about how others perceive them will have a hard time making a wise mind decision about what feels most authentic to them. Working with a therapist or mental health professional can help an individual towards wise mind, reduce anxiety and begin navigating their unique path towards acceptance within the harsh world of beauty standards. A key starting point on this journey is knowing your lack of hair was never the problem, beauty standards are the problem!
3. Embrace community
One of the most reliable treatments for hair loss is community. For some, it may feel really hard to lean into finding others who are experiencing hair loss. This is not uncommon, I refused to attend any type of community-related hair loss events/groups for the first 15+ years of my hair loss journey. It was not until my late teens and early twenties that I began connecting with other alopecians and it was life changing in the best way. We are told hair loss is something we need to fix or get rid of rather than embrace, so it makes sense why someone might not be open to finding group support at first. If you do not feel ready to find a community of people going through similar struggles, there is no need to pressure yourself. However, when you are ready I can promise that it will be a therapeutic moment and there are lots of us waiting to welcome you!
Need Support?
Hair loss does not come with any roadmap. In fact, even upon diagnosis at the doctor it is rare they will provide any mental health resources. We deserve well-rounded care for hair loss and I am happy to help connect you with resources or offer you to apply as one of my clients if you are seeking individualized supports. Feel free to schedule a free discovery call in which we will discuss your needs/goals and I will make a recommendation. Or you can apply to be a coaching client here. Either way, I will be in touch to support you!
